Haughty Blog Title

tl;dr

doug:

bobulate:

The American public this week:

Unable to rest their eyes on a colorful photograph or boldface heading that could be easily skimmed and forgotten about, Americans collectively recoiled Monday when confronted with a solid block of uninterrupted text.

Dumbfounded citizens from Maine to California gazed helplessly at the frightening chunk of print, unsure of what to do next. Without an illustration, chart, or embedded YouTube video to ease them in, millions were frozen in place, terrified by the sight of one long, unbroken string of English words.

You may want to avert your eyes a bit if you must click over to read in its entirety. Still larger chunks of print lie ahead.

Disgusting filth. The horror.

“It demands so much of my time and concentration,” said Chicago resident Dale Huza, who was confronted by the confusing mound of words early Monday afternoon. “This large block of text, it expects me to figure everything out on my own, and I hate it.”

I have a shirt that says the above French statement with a picture of an owl on it. It’s the only owl-related thing I’ve ever bought for myself (besides tootsie pops as a child, of course). This is just because people have given me owl-related things throughout my comedy career, based on a bit I…

When I was in high school working diligently on the newspaper, yearbook, and lit mag (SHUTUP) (okay really, were you not expecting to find THAT out?), when we had space to fill due to an unsold/unpaid ad, it was usually filled with the phrase “This is not a Fugazi filler” - usually in English, occasionally in French, almost always followed by someone wearing this to class within the next week.