28th
5-Minute Boyfriends
The best relationship I’ve ever had lasted five minutes. I met him in a gas station convenience store. I had Combos and coffee (nothing but the healthiest of lunches for me), he had a baseball hat, Harry Connick, Jr.-esque drawl, and one hell of a sexy leaning-against-the-wall pose.
“Coffee and Combos? That’s road food.”
“I wish. This is lunch.”
“Ah, you should just take off.”
“My boss would never forgive me.”
“Who needs him?!”
I just smiled and left. He wasn’t smarmy or leer-y, we both grinned our respective ways through the conversation, and I walked out. Perfect relationship, right there.
Other five minute boyfriends: the barista at the Starbucks drive through who complimented my taste in music and my car, the guy at the non-drive-through Starbucks who had gone all the way out the door and let it close when he saw me on my way out the door, turned around, apologized and opened it for me, and this guy, when at Max Fun Con we had a conversation about how I was introducing myself with my real name and not as Craxworth, and he reassured me that it was “because we’re grownups.”
The thing about the 5-minute boyfriend is that they’re so not my boyfriend - they haven’t been and they won’t be. They’re just a snippet of something life affirming that comes from a good relationship. Really, they’re the best boyfriends.
