Haughty Blog Title

Dear Future Boyfriends/Husbands,

I would be very impressed and touched if you took it upon yourself(ves) to schedule my Pap smear. Taking such an interest in my reproductive health would be adorable and make me love you even more (as if I could love you any more [any of you]). And if you choose Hanukkah or Christmas to do this for me, all the better.

However.

Just because you schedule the appointment around Hanukkah or Christmas doesn’t mean it has to occur around Hanukkah or Christmas. Oh Hanukkah oh Hanukkah, let’s leave the speculum on the table - ‘tis NOT the season for stirrups.